Cloon: Hello there Audience! Welcome to our Annual Groundhog Day Report. Joining me today, on the phone line, is Stan The World's Smallest Sheep to report on the Groundhog Day findings of February 2, 2013. For those ones not familiar with Stan, his first language is Spanish but he does speak some English as well. This is his 4th year providing us with his insider's information on Groundhog Day. Welcome Stan!
Stan: Gracias! Hola Cloon!
Cloon: The suspense is a little too much for me...Can you let us know what all the famous Groundhogs predicted?
Stan: Si, si Senor! Ontario’s Wiarton Willie, Pennsylvania's Punxsutawney Phil, Ohio’s Buckeye Chuck and New York’s Staten Island Chuck all did not see their shadows, so they each predict an early spring. However, Nova Scotia’s Shubenacadie Sam, Quebec's Fred and Georgia’s General Beauregard Lee did see their shadows and predict more winter.
Cloon: Chuck is a popular name for a Groundhog, isn't it?
Stan: It appears so.
Cloon: Oh but Stan...you forgot one Groundhog from the mix theese year. What about Balzac Billy from Alberta? He's the one closest to us...
Cloon: Watcha talkin' 'bout Willis?
Stan: Well I was surfing the net the night before the Annual Pancake Breakfast that I was planning to attend to witness Balzac Billy in person...when all of a sudden I came across the information that Balzac Billy was never a real Richardson ground squirrel...
Cloon: Say what?
Stan: Balzac Billy is a human in a gopher suit!
Cloon: Say it ain't so...
Stan: So I went to the breakfast and started a protest...before I knew it, the po-lice was headed my way...so I started to eat all the leaves I could find before they took me into custody!
Cloon: And what's happening now?
Stan: Well, I'm calling you from the clink...you're my one phone call!
Cloon: Oy, yoy, yoy! Ok, I'z going to post your bail pronto! How much is it?
Stan: One Million Dollars!
Cloon: No problemo, amigo...consider yourself sprung!